Tales From the Darkside #124 "Grandma's Last Wish "Closed Captioned
(theme music playing)
NARRATOR: Man lives in the sunlit world
of what he believes to be reality.
But... there is,
unseen by most, an underworld.
A place that is just as real
but not as brightly lit.
A dark side.
(lively big band music plays)
¶ ¶
(snoring)
(door opens)
It's me! (door slams shut)
I'm home, Mom!
What's for dinner?!
Who said something?
Mom! Greta?
Greta, is that you? Mom!
Come tell me about your day at school.
Where are you?
Grandma, where's Mom?
Huh?
Where's Mom?!
I can't hear you over the music.
Where is Mom?!
Yes! I got my hair
done yesterday.
(door opens)
Ten, eleven, twelve.
Did you make it around the yard, Mom?
(phone rings) I'll get it.
No, I'll get it!
Hello, Rawlins residence.
Mom, I'm waiting for a call.
May, I didn't see any olives in the cupboard.
Hello, Doris, have they come to wreck your home yet?
I looked in the refrigerator, too.
You mean there's a bulldozer in your front yard?
Well, I'd get the kids out of the house.
(laughing): Oh, that's an idea worth thinking about.
GRETA: Mom, I'm waiting for a call.
(May laughs)
MAY: Are you sure? No!
You are kidding.
Okay, sure.
When? (groans)
I'm going to watch Aerobic Action!
Greta, don't you dare turn on that TV!
I want my own phone! Suzy has her own phone!
You should take serious dancing lessons, pumpkin.
You inherited talent.
Oh, my God. Grandma. That's right.
I couldn't have been an important dancer
for Florence Ziegfeld
if I hadn't had dancing lessons, pumpkin.
Yes, I can hear it bulldozing.
I cannot believe this!
Do you know how primo it is to talk to Buzz?!
I can hear it bulldozing!
It's unfair!
Greta, I've told your father
I would pay for your dancing lessons.
I remember.
May, you remember I told you that.
Grandma, shh. I'm on the phone.
Well, she shouldn't be swinging on bars like a monkey.
She inherited talent. (loud rock music begins playing)
Greta, turn down that music! (turns down music)
Right. Call me back after the kitchen's been demolished.
Are you off?
Yes, young lady.
May, did you put the olives in another cupboard?
Why don't you call Buzz?
That way you don't have to wait for his call.
I can't call a boy.
Grandma, you left the water running in the bathroom again.
Why are they in the bathroom?
And you used up all the paper towels
and you forgot to tell me.
(phone rings) It's Buzz!
Hello, Rawlins residence.
Sally! (high-pitched scream)
How's the root canal?
You heard what I said about the dancing lessons.
Grandma, I'm on the phone.
Why don't you watch TV?
(rock music becomes louder)
Sally, I told you not to cut corners.
You should've gone to a real dentist.
(music playing)
Greta!
Greta Rawlins, turn down that music right now,
or you don't have the use of this phone all night!
(turns down music) Of course, what else?
(laughing) Me, too.
No. Uh-huh.
Yeah? Oh, you're kidding.
(laughing)
(game show plays loudly on TV)
MAN: So it's 5-3, and Jared is our new champion.
(applause on TV)
So let's keep our fingers crossed as Sharon joins me...
Grandma!
Must you play the TV so loudly!
I'm on the phone!
Where are your slippers?
You're going to catch your death.
Summer's here, Mom.
The rotten board on the porch is a death trap.
I almost fell rumpside yesterday.
I'll fix it.
It's not fun being old, son.
You worry about things.
Now, just yesterday...
I'll fix the porch Saturday.
I'm not complaining but a rotten board is like a...
Eat your bran.
Mom, you got to get off my back.
I'm your mother, that's where I belong.
GRETA: Good morning.
You coming to my gymnastics meet, Saturday, Dad?
Oh, my God.
Who are you?
Whoo! I am Greta.
Call the doctor.
Grandma! I'll tell you about my routine.
You're not going outside dressed like that.
Why not?
Think of the traffic.
Grandma!
I go from a walkover,
to a back leap onto the bar,
three revolutions. Whoo!
What happened to your hair?
Like it?
Did you sleep hanging from the ceiling?
It's a look.
What?
A look. You know, a style.
I can't hear you, speak up.
You're supposed to be eating your bran.
Dad, she is always telling me what to do.
When I was your age, I never thought about being old.
I can't take her anymore, Dad.
Morning, troops.
Greta, that outfit.
Geez!
May, there was no lettuce for my sandwich.
Did you buy lettuce yesterday?
No, Grandma, I told you that last night.
No lettuce, I forgot.
Son, you better fix the front porch.
FRANK: Sure, Mom.
May, it's all right about the lettuce.
I know you have a lot on your mind.
Grandma, use your walker.
Grandma!
(grunts)
FRANK: Ma! (cries out)
Grandma, are you all right? Grandma?!
Are you okay, Mom? I'm all right.
GRANDMA: Sometimes you don't see things
before it's too late.
Please.
My legs aren't what they used to be.
I used to be a dancer for Billy Rose.
And he said...
Greta, you're going to be late for school.
GRETA: Are you going to tell her now?
Bye, honey.
Oh, what's that, eau de horse manure?
It's called Country Lane.
I like it.
I thought I smelled something.
GRETA: Bye, Grandma.
I didn't see any tomato juice in the refrigerator.
Mom, you remember what we've been talking about?
I don't care about the tomato juice or-or the lettuce.
MAY: Grandma...
Look, a whole tub of butter.
Isn't that nice?
Mom...
I'd go to the store myself,
but those ninnies won't let me drive anymore.
We think it would be a good idea... No!
...to talk to the people who run the...
May, you know I like olives.
Did I leave my toothbrush in your bed?
No, Grandma.
Maybe I took it to the garbage.
I was looking for toothpaste.
Someone's coming to talk to you tonight, Mom.
Son...
We want you to listen to what he's got to say.
(slide projector whirring, piano playing upbeat tune)
MAN: Oh. Everyone's happy at Tranquil Gardens.
Ah.
You'll get tired of smiling.
MAY: Oh!
(May laughs)
How are your smiling muscles, Mrs...
Rawlins?
In good shape?
We'll really give them a good workout.
Yes, sirree.
Can I call you Grandma?
MAY: Oh, it looks like fun!
Such fun.
I assume you'll want the deluxe studio apartment.
Private bath and Muzak.
We have every popular tune from 1930 on.
Plus...
a recreation room with your name on it.
Oh!
Rack 'em up, Grandma.
You'll love living with us
at Tranquil Gardens, Grandma.
Could I have some lights, please?
(piano music stops)
Sounds good.
What do you think, Mom?
MAN: You can get cable TV for a little extra fee.
Room service. Oh!
Extra.
And a nurse comes in once a day
just to see if you're still...
Kicking?
Hey, Grandma,
none of that.
It's a humdinger of a place.
I call the place humdinger heaven.
And it's all yours for just, uh, $649.99 a month.
Meals extra, laundry extra,
medical extra.
Refrigerator $12 a month extra,
and pay toilets.
(laughing): Oh, no.
Just kidding.
Oh. A little joke.
(weak laughter)
Plumbing's free. Yeah.
Aren't you glad you found us?
Sign here.
You'll love it.
I could pick you up,
uh... a week from tonight.
Oh. Good.
Well, sounds like a terrific place.
A humdinger.
Uh, let's make this last week together really special.
Oh, good idea.
What shall we do?
FRANK: Whatever you want, Mom.
You name it.
Grandma?
FRANK: Tell us what you want.
(laughs) I know, I know, I know, I know.
Make a wish.
A wish.
Yeah, Grandma, make a wish.
And we'll do everything we can to grant your wish.
Do you have one?
I have a wish.
Oh, isn't that wonderful?
What is it?
How can we grant it if you don't tell us what it is?
GRANDMA: I have a wish.
You know what I kept of yours, Harry?
Besides the boxer shorts?
Your belief in me.
Isn't this a beautiful shine?
Mom, when was Richard Nixon president?
When I was pregnant with you.
That's why you're so weird.
What was Watergate?
I could do a commercial for this wax.
Isn't this a beautiful shine?
Mom, what was...
(shrieks)
(body thuds)
Mom?!
Oh, my ankle.
Are you okay?
Let me help you.
(yells)
(yells louder)
I hope it's just a sprain.
(gasps)
Did you hurt yourself, May?
(on TV): The first contestant to get five correct answers (phone ringing)
without a miss, will get a chance to go the limit. (May grunts)
If you guess incorrectly at any time,
your score will return to zero
and you'll have to start a new series
of five correct answers. Oh!
Your opponent will receive one point... (ringing continues)
Greta, answer the phone!
(bell dinging on game show)
(ringing stops)
Then we'll have a winner who'll play our solo game. (groans)
I'm practicing.
Well, when you get to be my age, young lady...
Oh, what are you, 10,000 years old?
(phone rings)
Yeah, hello.
Oh...
Hi, Buzz.
Greta!
You have got to fix that loose step on the porch.
I practically fell rumpside and killed myself this morning.
You sound like my mother.
Did you buy the groceries?
I forgot.
Whoo! Dad, I want to show you my new routine.
Watch this. Whoo!
Oh!
What'd you do?
Greta, freeze!
Pumpkin.
My neck...
I must've pulled something.
Weird.
This is weird.
Who wants more milk?
I need it for my foot.
Greta, you should have some calcium.
It feels like ten million little fingers
are pulling one muscle this way,
and 20 billion thousand fingers
are pulling that muscle another way.
It's weird.
At least I'm not throwing up or anything.
How can such disgusting words come out of such a sweet face?
I'm not sweet.
I'm interesting.
Ow!
Greta Tallulah Jane Rawlins.
Don't call me that!
There is nothing wrong with being sweet.
My feet are fine. How are your feet?
Mine hurt.
(phone ringing)
Frank, get that, will you, honey?
If Buzz knew my middle name was Tallulah, I'd die.
I'd check into a hospital, hook myself up to a machine,
pull the plug and die.
Greta!
Tallulah was one of my best friends.
I helped keep her skirt down at parties.
Oh, my foot is starting to throb.
Well, Dr. Johnson said that at my age, it should mend.
Would you pass the carrots, please?
Greta, close your mouth when you chew.
It'll mend slowly, but it'll mend.
Are those carrots or peas, May?
They're orange.
I like peas.
Mom, I'm not wearing one of those things.
I'll look like an alien.
Well, you do your best to look like one anyway.
Dr. Johnson is coming to check your neck.
I'm not wearing one of those things!
How are you feeling, Mom?
Fine, son, fine.
I'm glad your fine, Mom.
I wouldn't want all three of my girls to be down in the dumps.
Don't worry about a thing, May.
I'm going to take care of all the dishes.
Are you sure?
(Frank screams, dishes clattering)
(birds chirping)
What was it you wanted, Grandma?
Tea, sugar?
Salt.
(screams)
What is it?
Look at my hands.
I'm looking.
Age spots.
There and there and there!
My God, I'm only 40 years old.
FRANK: They look like big freckles.
They're huge, ugly liver spots on my hands!
It's disgusting.
They look like freckles.
What's the big deal?
Go to the drugstore and get me some vanishing cream.
I've gotta fix the washing machine.
Are you a ninny?!
I can't drive with this foot!
Pumpkin, settle down.
Don't you pumpkin me!
I'm getting old and ugly,
and all you can do is call me pumpkin?!
(screams)
Would you like some coffee, son?
It's not gonna be in here, Mom,
but you can look.
There it is!
Grandma's favorite blanket.
How in the dickens did that get up there?
(metallic clanking, Frank screams)
Frank!
Honey!
Oh, talk to me.
Huh?
Greta, call Dr. Johnson.
Ask him if he'll run across the street.
Greta!
What?!
Call Dr. Johnson!
Honey...
What is your name, son?
See if he knows who he is.
What?
Ask him his name.
I can't understand you. Speak up.
Ask him his name!
Honey, how... how do you feel?
Hello?
Sometimes you don't see things
until it's too late.
Is Dr. Johnson there?
You look bad, son.
What?
Do you know who I am?
Oh, Dr. Johnson, can you come over right away?
My father has a hibachi on his head.
Mom, he's coming right over!
What?!
Listen up, why don't ya?!
What?!
Oh, my God.
FRANK: Our last evening together.
To Grandma.
ALL: To Grandma.
Mom, you never did tell us about your wish.
We wanted to do
something special for you.
We really did.
FRANK: Remember when I was 12, Mom,
and you were working on Broadway,
and I snuck backstage?
MAY: Did somebody see
my toothbrush this morning?
I remember I snuck backstage when I was ten.
GRETA: You said you were 12.
And-And Gertrude Lawrence...
It was Fanny Brice.
Greta, did you take my toothbrush?
Lawrence!
Brice.
I... can't remember.
It was me.
I'd finally made it.
Mr. Rose sent me flowers every night.
You snuck backstage to watch me from the wings.
(chuckles)
I was the toast of the town.
Frank,
you said to me...
"Mama," I said,
"you're more beautiful than Greta Garbo."
(humming gentle melody)
I-I feel...
Weird.
This is weird.
I remember when I was a little girl.
I remember...
When I was little.
(humming continues)
(doorbell rings)
I'll get it.
Use your walker.
Hi, Grandma.
Today's your lucky day, huh?
I suppose it is.
Yes.
Does the family want to say good-bye?
Maybe they might like to come with me
to humdinger heaven.
GRANDMA: What do you know.
Wishes can come true.
(lively big band music plays)
NARRATOR: The dark side is always there.
Waiting for us to enter.
Waiting to enter us.
Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.